There are many phases in relationships. I’m sure many of us have felt sort of a pattern or cycle while going through them. This doesn’t mean that all of us go through all the phases but usually we have certain phases that we tend to go through and those phases are repeatedly cycled through in our relationships. Let’s take a look at some of those phases.
The Infatuated Phase
So this phase is generated by the technology and social media platforms we have today. We start to see develop an attraction for someone and that excitement tends to blow up the actual relationship you have with this person and usually is a result of excessively talking about this person with others. The more excited you are about how amazing this person is, you feel the urge to tell everyone about it, you analyze the littlest details and seek advice and confirmation that this person indeed likes you too. Of course since your goal is that confirmation, you may exaggerate your story and make it seem like the person is showing more interest in you so that you can hear the “they totally like you” that you are eager to hear. Then you begin to over exaggerate the good things about this person and create a dreamy perfect soulmate type of figure in your head. But while all this is happening and you are obsessing over this relationship, in reality you guys are just casually dating. When people have this ideal relationship that is being anticipated, they tend to become infatuated early on in relationships.
Being infatuated has its consequences, once the relationship isn’t fresh and exciting anymore it will become boring. You will begin to see all the flaws. So just take it slow, don’t start talking about this person too much. Watch how things go for awhile first.
The Casual Phase
This phase is when the relationship hasn’t been discussed yet and it seems too early to discuss it. You may find yourself constantly pretending to be a lot more casual and laid back than you typically are in relationships because you aren’t sure if you have that right to act like you are in a relationship yet. You are eager to find out what your partners intentions are and if this is going to develop into a relationships. Making passive aggressive comments such as “I mean I don’t care if you go out because it’s not like we’re dating or anything” is another sign of this phase and we all know that you actually do care if we go out anyways. During this phase it is easy to become over analytical of the other persons actions, gestures, and words in attempts to find hints on his/her intentions. You may be playing into a game where if he/she seems like they don’t want a relationship then you also play along like you don’t want anything serious.
Don’t play into those games. Be upfront. There’s no good outcome from playing in games like that so just state clearly if you are looking for something serious or casual. Also the passive aggressive comments and pretending like it doesn’t bother you when he/she goes out to a bar without doesn’t do you any good. Just be honest. But also don’t be demanding of a committed relationship, just go with the flow and don’t expect anything.
The Awkward Phase
This is when your partner has introduced you as his or her girlfriend/boyfriend a couple of times but the two of you haven’t stated it yet. You probably over think doing things like posting photos of the two of you on social media and feel hesitant to tag them. You aren’t sure if you should change your relationship status or if you expect them to. Expectations destroy relationships. Don’t expect anything, ask for it.
The Comfortable Phase
This is the phase where the two of you are super comfortable with each other. Sometimes this phase leads to lack of affection. You may feel like the other person has completely changed. You could be more prone to giving the other person an attitude if they do something because they seem to be more annoying than usual. Being in this phase is a red zone for relationships. If you find yourself here, take some time to yourself. Don’t always be around your partner. Find a life for you and you will soon appreciate your partner all over again.